slow cooking expert and mom to three
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A Year of Slow Cooking

Thursday, April 17, 2008

CrockPot Bacon Wrapped Scallops Recipe


day 108.

Happy Thursday! Happy Slow Cooking Day!

Remember to go see Sandra for a bunch of totally awesome crockpotting recipes. Because (um.) this isn't one.





I got cocky.

I thought you could cook anything in a crockpot. I was very way wrong. And I don't even want to know how much money I wasted (I sent Adam off to the store and he never saves receipts) on making this catastrophe.


The Ingredients.
(don't go buy them.)

--beef bacon. or pork. whatever.
--1 1/2 pounds of fresh scallops
--juice from 2 lemons
--1 t black pepper
--toothpicks


The Directions.

soak scallops in the juice from 2 lemons and a teaspoon of black pepper in the fridge for 2 hours (you will be wasting your time, btw)

very carefully and with a lot of effort wrap each scallop gingerly with a half slice of bacon. Push a toothpick lovingly into each scallop to hold the bacon in place.

Stagger the lovely little scallops in a pretty pattern in the bottom of your crockpot. Smile at your handiwork and give yourself a pat on the back for your creativity.

cover and cook on low for 2-4 hours.
(please don't really do this. please.)


The Verdict.

This will stink up your house. You will not be happy.

And noone will come to your rescue when you whine about the icky layer of fatty disgusting slime at the bottom of your crock.


and you will be sad.

but then you will be taken out to dinner.

which makes you wonder if it was all worth it...

41 comments:

Robyn said...

Don't let this disaster get you down. My husband always tells me everything I make is "ok" (even when he LOVES it) so that I'll outdo myself the next time.

Can't wait to see the next recipe! I just KNOW that it'll be a success!

Becka said...

Your blog Rocks my world. I just thought you would want to know. You bring a giggle to everyone of my mornings.

And in my not so humble opinion, the real reward of ruining a meal lies in an evening outside the house.

laughingatchaos said...

Um...ewwww? Maybe it was the beef bacon?
At least you got a dinner out! ;)

Renee' said...

Thanks for the warning!! I am laughing with you - I've done the same type of thing before. Certain things just don't do well in the crock pot.

ErinB said...

My bff BEGGED me to make the waterchestnut version of this for her bridal shower. Which was held in mid-August. Even here in the frozen tundra mid-August is HOT. I did them in the oven and have not made them since. In 10+ years. The smell was AWFUL. You have my sympathies.

DevilsHeaven said...

Ok, so it SMELLED bad, but did it TASTE bad too?

Holl said...

I love scallops and bacon, but only when we go out. Even cooked in the oven the house takes on an icky smell. I think the picture says it all... Thumbs down on scallops and bacon ala crockpot.

geekypoet said...

When I saw this post on my rss feed, I thought what a brave woman! I'm scared to cook scallops - I'm afraid I'll over cook them and that's just on the stove.

Thank you for doing all these experiments, it gives me the courage to try new things too! You are indeed an inspiration!!

Amie said...

LOL! Great post Steph. They can't all be winners. =)

Chrissy said...

I check your blog EVERY day, and I just realized that I never comment. So, here's a comment: you are hilarious. And I might just try that little trick to get my hubby to take me out to dinner...but then I wonder, is it worth stinking up my house? I'm thinking yes.

Sandra said...

I would have thought this would have turned out really good, I mean scallops AND bacon togethere, how can you go wrong??? LOL

You crack me up!

Dashzap said...

lol. I'm glad not everything you make is perfect, you were starting to make me feel inadequate. ;)

Loving your blog.

zakary said...

Sorry about the scallops. I don't cook seafood at all in our house. We had a run in with salmon cakes and we all got sick (even though the salmon was from Whole Foods).

I am making your Lemon Chiken tomorrow and it's the fourth time I've made it. My family loves it. My mom calls it "Company Chicken"!

mjpuzzlemom said...

Awwww.... This is one I would have never attempted. We all learn from our mistakes. Thanks for sharing!


MJ

Crockpot Lady said...

you all are so very sweet. I want to buy you ponies.

Eleisia said...

What a great attitude! Laughing at your asides! No one succeeds without a few goofs and you got a dinner out.

Anonymous said...

chalk this one up to the "we learn something new every day!" today scallops, tomorrow, who knows?!? glad to know u r human, and roll w/ your disappointments. i won't be trying this, btw.

Giabella Designs said...

I can just imagine the smell.......I would want to get out of the house too! You just outsmarted your hubby! Tee hee hee

Mari said...

Too funny! I was ready to try this, but I guess I'll skip it!

Jai said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jai said...

Hilarious! Thank you for honesty! I will NOT try this reciepe!

Thank goodness for great husbands who come to the rescue! (at least that is what my boys say)

April 17, 2008 3:09 PM

graceunderautism said...

well I guess that is one way to go out to dinner!

Thanks for the tiny print, I just might have tried it without them, since scallops is one of my favorite foods.

Alison said...

So, seriously, crockpotlady...did it taste awful too? 'Cause all along I've been thinking that it's just not possible to go wrong with bacon and scallops. My heart hurts to know that it failed. Seriously. The earth just tilted on its axis.

But I totally get the Rescue Supper at the Eating Establishment of Your Choosing. I like those.

I agree with the others: you are very funny, and I always look forward to your newest post here. If you skip a day, I might just come after you. Or at the least, I will call you to harass you. ;-)

MWAH!

My Ice Cream Diary said...

Shoot, when I saw the title I was so excited because I love bacon wrapped scallops. I'm so glad you got to go out to eat. That always makes me happy. =)

Cheri said...

Thanks for sharing the failures too. Gives us all hope that it's ok when it's not perfect and! hope for dinner out! Have to ask, did you go out for seafood?? LOL!

Cynthia Matzat said...

Sorry your crockpot version wasn't good. I make a very similar recipe in the oven, and they are fantastic. If you want to try it again somtime, here is the link to the recipe. http://thematzats.blogspot.com/2008/01/bacon-wrapped-scallops.html

Canadian Saver said...

My mom makes these as a treat for my dad (we prefer balsamic glazed scallops) and I never think they stink up her kitchen...

Angela's Kitchen said...

I love that you let us know the stuff NOT to try. And you can laugh at yourself in the process... You ROCK!

Except, if you get a night out, maybe I should try it?? Hmmmm.....

Betsy said...

LOL!

Susanne said...

As my loving Godmom would say: "you live and you learn". :v) I've had a few "interesting" results in my cooking lifetime too. But the fun is trying, right?

Melonie said...

Thankfully I'm not a seafood fan so I don't think I'll be missing out by not using this as a dinner out option. Maybe I'll just show it to my hubby and say... should I try this or should we just go out tonight? muahahahaha :-)

Cassie said...

a night out is worth one "screw up"...Next one will be a success...

The Apron Queen said...

Oh darn. I was hoping it turned out good. We like seafood. Even the best cooks have bad days! My son once told a fireman that he knew what it meant when the smoke alarm went off... Dinner's ready!

For your daily dose of vintage goodness & a bit of silliness, stop by Confessions of an Apron Queen, the home of Vintage Thingies Thursdays.

~*~Julie~*~ said...

But did they taste good?? I want to know! lol

Audrey said...

Sorry for your disaster. Marinating the scallops in lemon juice for 2 hrs actually already "cooked" it - it's called ceviche. I think if you could pan sear them 1st, then place in crock pot on top of crumbled foil, basically to stay warm. The bacon and bacon both render alot of fat and liquid. Also pat the scallops dry will brown them up nicely.

AGirlWorthLosing said...

You make me laugh!

Anonymous said...

I am so totally cracking up over this one! Makes me wonder if anyone will be brave enough to actually try it with all the "side bars" that you have added to your recipe.

Anonymous said...

we make these all the time...you have to BBQ them, brush on a little oil and sprinkle with Emeril's spice, and cook till crispy...no stink!!

Rainyday said...

Hmmm, makes me wonder if it would do better in the crock pot if there was a rack or something on the bottom to catch the fatty drips from the bacon, but without turning it into stinky fatty soup. Sure I'm not brave enough to try, though!

Candis Daugherty said...

I am totally crying huge tears I am laughing so hard! I just found your blog and am totally loving reading about your "flops"!! I am so glad to read that I am not the only one with kitchen catastrophes! Thank you so much for the laugh and all the great recipes. I also love my crock pot and feel like I've won the lottery now that I've found your blog!!

Webbe! said...

Great post, I love that you also share your flops.

In the future, if you soak your scallops (or potentially other seafood too!) in cold milk for an hour or so (under refrigeration) it will help to remove the fishy smell when cooked, it also tenderizes (see two birds!)

We use this at the large chain restaurant I work for calamari. I remember when my trainer told me we had calamari, I didn't believe her because there wasn't even the slightest fishy smell in the kitchen.

That said, scallops should only cook for 6-8 minutes otherwise they get kind of rubbery and chewy. So I'm not sure they'd work in a crockpot.

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